Pie Crust:

How to make Super flaky light pie crust that pie crust you can only dream about.

How to make it EVERY SINGLE TIME - - without fail - ever.

Do a google search and you will find even venerable persons such as Alton Brown advocating the use of butter.
It seems that all the nut jobs out there on the internet-S have copied each other and not a fooking one knows what they are talking about.

☠ ☣ ☢ ☠ ☣ ☢ BUTTER CONTAINS WATER~!!!!! ☠ ☣ ☢ ☠ ☣ ☢
Butter is Soooooo wrong


✔ ✔ ✔ Well reduced Lard or Crisco do not contain water. ✔ ✔ ✔



One cup crisco, three cups all purpose flour, table spoon salt, Some ICE COLD water.

✖ ✖✖ ✖ No butter~!! None~!! Not ever~!! None~!! Butter is the reason a pie crust sucks.✖ ✖✖ ✖✖

I know the great chef Brown says to freeze the butter a bit to immobilize the water: BULLSHIT~!!!
Alton Brown is full of shit~!!!

Do not - EVER - use butter in a pie crust. It is the poison of pie crusts it is the reason so many pies suck.

OK, I'm done ranting, now here is the thing:


Cut Crisco or Lard into the flour ever so delicately using two table knives work the knives together as if you were actually cutting something up.

Or a pastry knife. That's one of those things that unless you know what it is you will never guess it's purpose. It's got a handle and from each end of the handle run looped wires that form a sort of bail all in one place. You jam that into the pastry over and over to cut the lard or crisco into the flour. Sometimes you can find them in yard sales. You don't need it. Two table knives are perfect for the job.

DO NOT try to get a homogeneous mix. Is is supposed to be lumpy with un-mixed crisco globs the size or green peas or bigger and have an unfinished look to it. It's supposed to fall apart as you work it into a crust shape. These are ATTRIBUTES~!!! They are the reason the crust comes out all flaky and delicate.

When making a flaky pie crust you do need to add water (and salt). The issue is WHEN that water is to be introduced .

After a few minutes of slicing the crisco or lard into the flour you find you pretty much done the lumpy bits seem about the sized of green peas and some maybe larger .
This is the time to introduce ICE COLD water. I mean really cold. Water you poured into crushed ice is about right

You add it in little bits as you use the knives to get it through the dough.
RESIST THE URGE TO TOUCH THE DOUGH WITH YOUR HANDS~!!!!!!!!
Don't do it. Don't even think about it. Don't do it. The mere touch will destroy your crust

Add the water a little at a time and slice it in with the knives. Don't get all smarty pants and turn the blades sideways. DO NOT try to make the dough homogeneous. Those Lumps are your Friends. Preserve them by being ever so delicate.

Then when you think you are done the dough is sort of dry not moist set the dough aside for a few minutes to hydrate.
Use that time to break out some more flour and a rolling pin and clear your work area.

When rolling out the dough don't try to get it perfect - - or free of holes - - you only want to roll the dough just enough to get it the size and thickness for the pie crust. Use lots of flour to prevent sticking and don't worry about holes and cracks in the dough. The goal is to minimize any working of the dough. It's critical that you not work the dough because you have water in it and the water is going to react with the gluten and cause the dough to become something that is not-flaky.

You can fix cracks and holes and defects in the crust AFTER you have placed the dough in the pie plate on top of the Chicken pot pie or where ever it's final destination is to be.
Use the scraps to fix holes etc. Just lay them on and press ever so slightly - and I mean slightly.


That is how to manage the dough for a super flaky light delicious enviable crust
Try it. I will work for you every single time.
I promise.

And children butter burns your crust.
Don't believe me?
OK, place a pat of butter on top of the crust when you are done.
or
Make it in a happy face or spell out a name with the butter bits.

You'll see. The places where the butter was placed will be darker.